If you have ever stayed at a hostel then you have probably stayed in a shared dorm room along with other travelers. When you first enter this shared living space there are a number of scenarios that could unfold. The following 9 points are just a few things to consider when picking a hostel dorm bed. I hope this list gives you some insight into how to “properly” select your dorm bed.
How To Pick A Hostel Bunk Bed
When traveling, many people opt to stay in hostels in order to save money. However, with so many people sharing a single space, it can be hard to get a good night’s sleep. Here are a few tips for choosing a bunk bed in a hostel and some important things to consider when picking a hostel dorm bed.
Avoid The Top Bunk
Unless you’re 10 years old, the novelty of the top bunk has completely worn off. Who wants to climb 6 feet at the end of the day when you’re tired (or possibly completely piss drunk)? For you traveling ladies out there who often wear skirts/dresses: Climbing a ladder over that creepy old Russian guy who snores and smells like cabbage probably doesn’t appeal to you. It also sucks when your awesome sunglasses fall down the back side of your bed and land on the bottom bunk with those 2 really hot Swedish girls who sleep naked and you have to reach over them to get your shades but they can feel your breath and they wake up, freak out, scream, get pissed and then label you a creeper. Don’t worry, they will only tell management and every girl in the hostel that you’re pretty much a rapist from bowels of hell. You should have opted for the bottom bunk.
Get The Bed Near The Power Points
We call em “outlets” in the US but it sucks if you can’t lie in bed and be on your phone while it’s charging. Who wants to leave their smart device on the other side of the room by that weird gypsy guy who is wearing somebody else’s clothes. He probably won’t steal your $500 phone before he catches his flight at 4AM while you are barely living.
Avoid The Bed By Door
It sucks when you are all nice ‘n’ asleep when someone decides that they need to go check on their laundry or catch that red eye flight and they have to open the door like 7 times in 3 minutes. It’s cool though, the hallways in the hostel only use those super green eco friendly ultra lux earth saving wonder lightbulbs that are somehow 3 times brighter than the sun so your sleep is disrupted with a massive slap in the face of blistering illumination each time the door opens. Sometimes there can even be windows to the hallway that let light in to ruin your night…just some food for thought 🙂
Beware The Bed By The Window
Is it windy at night in Wellington and does this window whistle? If it rains will this window leak and ruin my computer? Are feral alley cats going to have a howling orgy all night long just outside of this window? Is it going to be so miserably hot in your room that being by the window is a life saver? Windows aren’t necessarily a bad/good thing but make sure you think about some of these things before you cozy up to the looking glass.
Mark Your Bed As Your Territory
It sucks when you get the bottom bunk by the power points, away from the door with the shy Korean who doesn’t drink, speak English or disrupt anyone and it gets taken cause you put your bags NEXT TO the bed instead of ON the bed. A simple messing of the sheets will almost always suffice but sometimes you might need to spill the blood of 100 virgin llamas on the sheets just to be sure that your bunk mates know it’s taken.
Avoid The Bed Next To The Ensuite Bathrooms
It’s best to avoid the bed by the ensuite bathrooms (if you even opted for the ensuite bathrooms) in case the rather rotund Irish guy in your room had a large portion of polish food last night and he decided to ditch the payload before he had to catch his 6AM day tour up to the Bay of Islands. The noises and odors from the bathroom could wake the dead…or you.
Avoid The Mini-Fridge
The hum of the mini-fridge didn’t seem so bad during the day……hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Check The Firmness Of The Mattress
Don’t be deceived by the appealing sheets and soft pillow because what lies beneath could be a gauntlet of back pain and sleepless nights. Few things will disrupt your sleep like a mattress that feels like it came from the middle ages. I have switched mattresses from one bed to another before so I could have the bottom bunk away from the door with a nice full mattress. What are you waiting for? That early-bird Canadian guy will beat you to it if you don’t make a move soon.
Make Friends With The Oddball
Sometimes it’s better to take the bunk below that old lesbian lady from Croatia (at least you are pretty sure he or she is a lady) because you might end up bunking on the other side of the room next to those 4 guys from a mystery country who think it’s completely reasonable to come home so absolutely piss drunk that they can’t even get into the bottom bunk and have to pass out on the floor and end up pissing themselves as a result. Don’t worry, that all happens after they have a small mystery language fist-fight at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night. Why didn’t you get a video of those clowns? That would’ve been YouTube gold!
The Best Hostel Bed
The best hostel bunk is when the hostel overbooked and the only room left is in 10 bed dorm room that’s currently home to Germany’s amateur tennis team (who just won their competition), close to power points, away from door or any light during sleep hours and the mini fridge is already stocked with beer and cheap wine. Yeah, you want that bunk. It’s also important to note that all of the above beds are better than the worst bed of all… that one time that you procrastinated booking another night and had to sleep in the streets. Yeah, you don’t want that bed. I had that bed in New Zealand and a nice hostel bed is much nicer.
No matter where you stay, these are just some of the things to consider when picking a hostel dorm bed. If you come across anything else weird, let me know and I’ll do what I can to get it added to this list.
